Another bit of, what I know so far….

I have wrestled with doubt and fear most of my adult life. As I see my oldest child struggle with worry, I feel sad for him. It has taken me eight long years to release life and circumstances to God on a daily basis, and my prayer for that boy of mine is that he would trust in Christ at a young age and fully release any concern he has to Him.
With the recent news of our new addition, you can imagine I would start to worry a bit. It’s a minute by minute battle in my mind. My back was hurting earlier today and it took me right back to the day I miscarried our second baby. When I don’t feel sick, I wonder what could be wrong. Instead, what I ought to be thinking is, “ Hooray! I am feeling great today!” As I mentioned, this one was quite a surprise. One might think I shouldn’t care either way. I mean after all, I already have three kids and why get greedy? I was asking myself, and more importantly God that question the other day. Why me? Why did you chose me to have another baby? I have several friends who can not have children of their own, or have been trying to have a second or even third child only to have God say no, or not right now. We weren’t even asking for this. Why would He allow us this blessing and not someone else? We feel grateful and unworthy.

Funny how when circumstances are bad, we say “why me” as well. When we lose a loved one, or a job, or have a simple let down like a car problem, we say, ‘why me?” My mom once answered that with, “Why not?” That has stuck with me all these years. You see, we question God in His goodness based on a human perspective. We think He should act in accordance with what we deem to be the right thing. After all, if we were God we would….. heaven help us all right? We see tragedy on the news and wonder why is that happening to those poor people? Yet right after, we hop into our lushy plushy car and head to Starbucks because after all, we’ve had a hard day. Forgive my ranting on the subject. Living in North Dallas can make one get a little koo-koo when it comes to seeing unnecessary excess. When we ask ‘why me?’ in a bad circumstance, I wonder how often we ask ‘why me?’ in a good one. Why were we born in this country? That blessing alone begs the question. Why do we have free education available to us? I had a hard time this year with all the fund raisers at my son’s school. Criminy! We pay a lot in school tax and then they want more to build an outdoor something or other. Heaven forbid my child should do without some luxury. He may just have to use his imagination. Poor thing! It’s not that I mind giving money; I might be sounding a bit miserly now. Not at all. I mind giving money to an already over-saturated school system. I mind not getting that money to someplace down about 30 minutes from here to schools that are just trying to survive; to schools who need after school activities because the parents work and kids might go home alone if they don’t stay at the school. I mind giving more to folks who already have tons.

Does God mind giving to those who have tons? Apparently not. He delights in it. We might ask, why does He lavish us when we already have so much? I usually come up with one answer – so that we can in turn give to those who don’t. Now, I am not saying I am going to give away my baby to a family who can’t have one. I am saying we should look in all our abundance and see what we could give. You heard me, give. Not sell to the highest bidder, but give, with an open hand.

I don’t know why God chose to give my husband and I another sweet angel. We don’t deserve it. I do know it has caused me to be even more grateful for the things I do have, for the things He has lavished on me, and to be grateful for the things He has allowed to pass me by.

Life is funny…

It’s funny how God works in your life. There is a great song that we sing at church, “Blessed be the Name of the Lord”. The song speaks of praising God in the good and bad. I remember it was one of my dad’s favorites and when I sing it I imagine he’s singing along, but with the Lord. Cool thought for sure. For the past three years I have literally had little or no control in what happens in my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Through rough circumstances and great ones, God has proven Himself faithful over and over. In fact, He has blessed my family in ways I couldn’t have even imagined. We have all new family room furniture that we didn’t pay for. We didn’t steal it, it was a gift. This is just one of the many, many ways He has showered us. So, you might imagine what a great comfort that is to me, especially finding out recently that I am expecting another baby. Some of you that have known me awhile might say, “doesn’t that make 7 pregnancies??”. Yep, sure does. We have 3 live babies and three that are with Jesus already. This one is our unexpected blessing. As I told Marck, I was worried that he’d freak, or cry or go get a second job. If you have seen the way our kids eat, you’d understand. But he didn’t. He just said,” wow! Ok, this is a blessing! How great!”. I love his excitement. At the time all I could think of was we gave away every baby item we don’t need anymore, and that I am about to embark on yet another weight gaining binge. Super. The weight comes off easy enough, that shouldn’t bother me. Still, my waist line will be expanding.
We told our kiddos last night and they seemed ok at first. Then Zion got particularly weepy. Actually both the older ones did, for various reasons. After staying up way past bedtime to discuss and talk about how great it will be, they seemed at peace. For now.
As I came downstairs after our talk, I realized, life IS going to be different. Life was very different after each addition we’ve had. In the end, it has been amazing and I wouldn’t trade any single moment of it. As the song says, “my heart will chose to say, blessed be Your name”. I am choosing to bless God, and thank Him for unannounced miracles. You know I also love getting wisdom from movies, very theological. In the immortal words of Mrs. Gump, “ life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” Well, she left out something. We don’t know, but I know the One who does, and I trust Him fully and completely.

Opinions

Have you ever had this great idea, share it with someone you think is going to agree with you, only to have them pop the bubble in the worst way? I often think my adulthood of ideas is like that. When I wanted to become a hairdresser instead of go to college, most of my family said I was wasting my talents. Turns out it was the best choice for me and for my family down the road. When I wanted to scuba dive, my parents thought I was out of my mind. Then when I chose to dive with sharks, they really had a fit. They couldn’t do much considering I was in Tahiti at the time. When I met my husband, and got engaged three weeks later, we had some concerned friends out there. Turns out that was the best choice I have ever made! Life is always full of folks with unnecessary opinions. My favorite is when unsolicited advice is thrown my way. I often wonder, why is that people don’t just leave you alone. Even if they disagree with your choice of activity, if it’s not illegal or going to hurt someone, leave well enough alone. In my experience, each time my husband or myself have been met with opposition, the choice we make turns out to be the best for us. The most absurd opinion we ever heard was on the size of our bed. I know, the size of our bed. We had a little double bed when we were first married. It’s what we had and since cash was in short supply, we chose to not buy a new one. We fit just fine and didn’t have a problem with it. You’d have thought it was the oddest thing on the planet. I have no idea to this day why on earth people thought it necessary to comment on what size bed we should have. It’s not even like we ask, or complained about our bed. What newly married couple doesn’t want a snuggy bed anyway?
When we were having our first baby, me being the granola that I am, we chose to use the Bradley method. For those of you who are not so inclined to go with the pain route, Bradley is without the drugs. You can’t barely get me to take an Tylenol. Let alone drug myself up after nine months of not even having a sip of wine. To me it seemed odd. Well, as you can imagine we got a myriad of opinions. “You will never be able to do that!”, “it’s too painful!”. On and on it went. Finally I got so exasperated I stopped talking to people about my plans, even if they asked. I didn’t want to hear it anymore. Well, nine months past quickly and what do you know, we had a baby without drugs. Go figure. I’m not being prideful, I just think my pregnancy could have been even more enjoyable had we not had so many neigh sayers. Joy stealers I call them.
When we were thinking of moving to Texas, you can imagine the hoopla of advice and opinions we got about that. Mostly from family. I understand that though. They were just talking through their own sadness that we were leaving. Ok, but just tell me you’re sad. Don’t be a pickle about it. That was the final thing we heard negative opinions about. Mostly because we moved away from anyone who had known us all our lives or at least half of it. Seems like those who care about you the most tend to give you the most opinions. Or those who have sort of gone before you feel the need to direct you in the way you should go. The bible says, “All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart.” Also, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” In other words, our ways seem right in our own eyes, but God knows what is best, His plans will come out in the end. So why not let God be God for other people. I don’t know who said it, but I’ll steal the phrase, we are not each other’s personal Holy Spirit.
Since we have lived in Texas, like I said we don’t have the opinions of others bombarding our lives. People we encounter are along the same journey as we are. No one I know feels qualified to even breathe a word of input, especially when not asked for it. Our latest question of what to do in this situation is schooling for our children. Home, public, or private. The debate of the decade. Right now we have chosen public, but who knows, times change.

1950’s family

Marck often jokes and says we are a 1950’s family, you know the wife stays home, the husband goes off to work, comes home at 5:30 to dinner finished and on the table. (Well, almost on the table J) The kids are usually waiting on the curb for daddy to come home. The kids even play a game in which Eden cooks dinner for the boys, and Canon and Zion play fireman while they wait for their dinner. We wouldn’t have it any other way to be sure. Some days if feels so out of the norm that it gets a little lonely. Most of my friends have other jobs, either outside the home or a home based business so that doesn’t always leave them much time to just hang out. My friends who don’t work at all have their kids in one activity after another, which is almost like having a job. So there isn’t much room there for just hangin’ either. I was feeling pitiful the other day, thinking “I had lots of friends to pal around with in CA, what happened here in Texas?”. Different culture, different priorities. I am not sure. We have been here three years and still don’t really have friends that we see often. I joke a lot and say if I didn’t do my friends hair, I’d never see them. Joke or not, the truth is I rarely see people outside of haircuts. Now, you could say I could take that personally, but I have too high of a self esteem for that to get me down. No one would get their haircut by someone they didn’t like. So right there, I’m good. Busy lives and schedules keep friends apart. If you aren’t doing the same activity, you don’t have the luxury of seeing friends. Believe me that is a luxury! I recently had two good friends move back to where they were from originally, and let me tell you, that left quite a void. One of them was such an inspiration to me. I remember her saying she never did more than one thing in a day. She would go to the library, then home. Or maybe dance class, then home. I finally found my kindred spirit. I am not knocking folks who bust out 5 errands in one day. In fact, I applaud them for their courage! J For me, it’s exhausting to shlep three small people here, there and everywhere. My friend was great because I knew she’d be home by early afternoon and we could gab on the phone if everyone was having a quiet time. The other thing I liked is she didn’t always answer her phone. Something I am famous for. Even my husband stalks me if I don’t pick up after the 4th or 5th time he calls. Like my friend, I couldn’t be bothered with whoever was on the phone if I was busy doing something else, like playing Lego’s or dollies or sitting on my fanny watching Oprah. Busy is busy. J Back to my friend, I knew if she picked up, she really had the time.
Wistfully I think about our culture and our society especially here in North Dallas and I wish we were a little slower. When we moved here I really did think I was moving to Hicksville. Being from CA I never imagined that Texas was anything but backwards and slow. Imagine my shock. Quite the opposite. Turns out we were the Hillbillies. J I could always picture myself on a porch swing sippin’ mint juleps or lemonade fanning myself, hollering at my kids to come in for supper. Apparently I also like to day dream.
Well, that’s not what it’s like here and neither of us is going to change, me or North Texas. So in my pitiful, lonely days, I remember that God has called us here to this fast paced suburb for this time, and that sometimes it’s ok to not do what everyone else is doing. That also, it is ok to be lonely, it’s not a bad thing. Lonely is really a state of mind. You’ve heard the saying, “ you could be lonely in a room full of people”. It’s more about what you make of a situation.

Another typical day….

Thursday was an interesting day. I am often struck with unbelief by the people who come across my path. Sometimes I can’t believe a human being can be so self absorbed. For instance, I thought it would be fun to take our kiddos to the local spray ground, you know get wet, cool off, and run off some steam. We rode our bikes, well, make that I rode a bike with a little camper on the back that princess Eden and prince Canon sat in, then Zion had to ride his scooter the whole way. You would have thought I asked him to ride to Mexico with the way he was carrying on. “It is really a long way momma!” It’s .5 miles. Not that far. Poor kid, he’s quite abused.

We were having a super fun time, running through the sprayers and getting each other wet. I really didn’t want to be that wet, so I sat down and just watched everyone splashing. Canon had met a friend I saw. It looked like they might have fun together, and I was glad to see him being social. This new little friend was drinking from one of the sprayers, gross!! I looked over at his mom, who was yappin’ it up on the cell phone, I know, shocking, and she didn’t say anything. Ok, maybe she didn’t care if her child got some sick disease from drinking out of recycled water. Whatever. Then, this little spawn spit the water right in Canon’s face. As only a mother can I yelled,” oh sick!!” and ran over to rescue my sweet baby. I then proceeded to tell that child in no uncertain terms that this was disgusting and you just can’t spit in someone’s face. The mom was not far behind me, and I heard her getting off her phone call in order to make the kid come and apologize. I didn’t want an apology I realized, justice, that’s what I wanted. A forced “I’m sorry”, is not going to get that gross spit water off my sweet baby’s face now is it? He apologizes, I say, “we forgive you”. In the words of my husband ”Once more with feeling!” I am talking about me. I didn’t want to forgive him, but Jesus says it’s pretty much the right thing to do.

Wait there was more to my day! After that, we went next door to swing and slide at the park. The next encounter was with a mom of twins who was force-feeding them ice cream. I am not lying. Forcing them. The weird thing was they just wanted to swing. Which is what we were doing. She kept saying sort of loudly that there was only one swing, and there are two of them. It wouldn’t be fair if only one of them could swing, so they had to just eat their ice cream. It wasn’t a ”Here, wanna a bite?” it was “ Eat your ice cream!!!” I was waiting for the swear words to start flowing. I finally couldn’t take it and said, “ Here have our swing”. She then went on to say, “No they don’t need to swing, they can do that at home. I want them to eat this ice cream.” I started to wonder if there were sleeping pills or something in the ice cream. I have never seen a parent force ice cream on a child. We left our swing anyway and let her work it out.

As I rode home I was thinking how unbelievable people are. Then it hit me… I have NO idea what those families days had been like and what a wretch I am for even judging them. I feel like the gross one now. You see, when I lost our third baby, Judah, two weeks later I was at a park and there was a family of three kids. I was with my two at the time. I was just getting out of the house trying to do something other than be sad. The mom proceeded to tell me how lucky I was because I only had two children. Hers were such a burden she said. She kept going on and on. It was truly only because of God that I didn’t just spill my guts and tell her how stupid she was for saying such a thing. Instead I just said nothing. She didn’t know. How could she have. If she did, I am quite sure she would have been embarrassed and mortified. Instead of being angry at her I decided that I would always watch what I say and how I judge folks. There is a song, and I don’t know the name or anything but it basically says, “they don’t know what you’re going through”. Everybody is lost in their own little world. I was so caught up in the woman being on her cell phone and assuming she was just selfish that I didn’t stop to think, maybe today is a bad day. Maybe she was just trying to survive Thursday. Her boy spitting was the last thing she may have needed.

So now I am back to trying not to judge, because I don’t know what anyone is going through. Even if they are having the best day ever, it’s not my place to assume the worst. Jesus said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you”. Shame on me for not allowing that to be my first response.

one fine day in October

One fine fall afternoon, October 31st to be exact, I was paying bills. My precious daughter was sitting next to me at the dining room table doing her paper floor. Paper floor is basically where she cuts any bit of paper into the smallest microscopic pieces she possibly can and spreads it on the floor. For a self proclaimed neat freak like myself, tolerating this is a growth experience to be sure. She’s snipping, I’m writing. Snip, write, snip. Now remember she was sitting right next to me. All of a sudden I hear a sound that really only a trained professional hairdresser would recognize, sort of a snip with purpose. I look up to find a handful of Eden’s hair on the floor, table and chair. She’s looking at me as if she’s not sure if she’s in trouble. I say to her, “ why did you just cut your hair?!?!?”. She calmly replies, “ I wanted my haircut.”. “Right now? It couldn’t have waited??”. She says, “No, I wanted it right then!”. Hhmm…. This is sounding all too familiar, from my childhood and adulthood. There have been countless times my husband has walked into the bathroom to find me mid-snip and half my hair cut much shorter than when he last saw me. Story of my life I suppose, when I was a little girl, I chose to be a client for two naughty girls in my preschool. My hair went from really long to embarrassingly short.

I was angry at Eden, not for cutting it herself so much but for not asking me first. I was also thinking of the many friends we have had come over that worry that this fate may happen to some unsuspecting 4 year old. Of course I called my mother, you know the call, wanting advice, sympathy, something sound. I am quite sure the people at the Space Station heard her laughter! She had waited for this moment for about 30 years. She wasn’t wanting revenge, just that satisfaction of saying, “See? Do you see why it was a big deal?” Or maybe just the satisfaction of some justice, I don’t know. After she composed herself, she did encourage me to discipline for the improper use of scissors, make it a safety issue. Safety, I like it. She’s a savvy woman, my mom. I come back to Eden and we talk about this calmly and she agrees we only cut paper with scissors, not people or their hair. Best to clarify. Marck came home and of course was disappointed with her choice of haircuts, mange really isn’t a good look for anyone. He understood however it was bound to happen. Eden has watched her momma cut hair since birth and has studied every move. I frankly am glad it wasn’t her brother or even a friend. Of course the next day I had to fix it. It ended up a cute bob, with LOTS of texture. Turns out my Eden is a short hair girl. Over the years Marck has mentioned he likes my hair as it gets longer, to which I say ”Yes, I know you like the Mortisha look”. You remember the Addams family mom right? I’m long and noodley, long hair isn’t a fit for me. Though Eden does not share my lanky looks, at heart she’s a short hair girl.

That was back in October as I said, and to this date, she is always asking me for a haircut, short I might add, and her dad is always asking if we can grow it long. To pacify them both recently when Eden asked for another haircut, of which she just had one the week before, I said let’s color it! We had already given her highlights, that was for her 3rd birthday. This was something dramatic and new. Fourth of July was coming and of course who doesn’t want red and white stripes in their hair?? With that, her and her conservative brother had stripes. Peace, at last. Her hair is growing a bit, she thinks it looks fun, and dad is happy, for now. Hopefully she’ll wait til at least 18 for her first tattoo.

weight and what matters

Don’t ever ask or tell me about your weight loss goals, if you want any real response. I am unusually passionate about nutrition and health, so it carries over into other areas as well. For example, I used to go to the market and while standing in line I would critique hair standing in front of me. Things like, ooh, I could help that color, or wow, that would be cute just a little shorter. Typical hairdresser thoughts. Now that I have been out of the work force for 6 years, I have changed my view to look down, into someone else’s cart. I loved the guy who was in front of me the other day with his beer, chips and diapers. Interesting. In most cases I am a bit more critical than all that. Seeing a mom with a cart full of Ho-Ho’s and Ding Dongs, chocolate milk and frozen dinners is enough to make my head explode. I look at it as a cart full of High Fructose Corn Syrup and lots of bad behavior after it’s all consumed. I often wonder why parents buy that or even get talked into it by their children. Why not just choose a healthier option? I then go on to think about all those shows and articles I have seen lately about obesity, heart disease and high blood pressure in children. I always think that happens in areas where they must not know better, like outer Mongolia. Turns out I live in a society that doesn’t know better. As I said before I am passionate about good eating. So much so that I am convinced if my children set foot in a McD’s again, the universe will fly apart. Don’t be fooled though, I do feel pretty righteous cruising through the Chick-Fil-A drive in. Please don’t send me nutrition info on CFA, I know it’s just as bad.

All this long story to get back to my original reason for writing today, my husband. We have been married eight years now. You’d think he’d know this about me. Yesterday he told me that at work they had a health screening and the nurse told him he needed to lose 33 lbs. That’s about the size of our daughter I thought. If you saw him, weight loss candidate would not come to mind. He looks normal. So he’s telling me this, I say nothing. I move past this like it was road kill! Did he just meet me? Does he not understand that if I were told that by a health care pro, I’d be on the first treadmill I could find. But that’s me. We go on chatting and then he stops me. He lets me know of his expectation of a response. “Anything”, he says. He wanted some comment, good, bad, whatever. Just something. I’m thinking,” are you insane???!!!”. No wife who wants to stay out of marriage counseling agrees, disagrees, or even comments on a need for weight loss. You just smile and nod. He’s a guy, he should know this. So I remind him of my unfortunate perfectionist trait and that I think if someone in the medical profession tells you it’s a good idea to lose weight, you should lose weight. So often we compare ourselves to others to see if we are were we should be, or if there is a need for change. “Am I bigger than that guy?” “Is she prettier?”, “ Does my stomach stick out more than hers?” You see, all that really matters is what goes on between you and God,. That’s it. If we’d just look to Him for counsel, even in small areas, we wouldn’t need to compare and contrast. The same goes for me at the market. I feel that God has given me the wisdom how to feed my family. Mine. Not yours, or anybody else’s, just mine. I have no idea about that mom. I don’t know her circumstances, all I know and can assume is she is doing the very best she can with the wisdom she has. I am probably one of the biggest hypocrites too. I defy anyone to come over and not find 2-4 gallons of ice cream in my freezer. It’s all natural, but it’s there.

My dad recently passed away of a massive heart attack, he was 48. He ate all the “wrong” things, and didn’t get to the dr’s when he should. Does it matter though? Would it have? Not to him. He lived a great and full life, and right now he is dancing before his Lord. It only matters to those left here. As for Marck, I love him chubby, I love him skinny, and I love him in between. Striving to be a certain number isn’t his thing. For that I am grateful, two of us would be crazy. He is the more balanced of the two of us, and I am quite sure his mind is looking more up, than around the middle.

Fencepost Johnny, from spring 2007

> Well, spring has sprung in North Texas and that means once again we
> are walking to and from school. Which also means, Eden is as chatty as
> ever. She has my undivided attention as I push the stroller along. In
> the past, I have liked to use the morning walk as a prayer time. For
> friends and family, for my sweet oldest boy and his daily issues with
> school. But today showed me those quiet times are a thing of the past.
> As we dropped Zion off, it was like someone had flipped a talking
> switch and Eden was off and running, verbally. Which by the way, is no
> small task when trying to keep up with her momma with the long legs.
> She started her monologue with the usual, “mommy will you play dollies
> when we get home?” I let her know I need a huge cup o coffee first
> then I will be more than thrilled to have a sing along party and dance
> party with Pammy, Penny and Phoebe. I know, you’re all jealous at the
> life I’m livin’. Livin’ la vida loca! Here’s the whole reason for my
> e-mail this morning… the conversation got a little more bizarre as we
> walked. We talked about her rabbit, Sara, who was wearing one sparkle
> pink shoe and one sparkle black shoe. Sara apparently is 5 and goes to
> kindergarten. When asked what school she went to, Eden says” Rabbit
> Sparks”. Zion’s school is named Sparks. Of course she goes there. How
> could I not have known that. So Sara goes to Rabbit Sparks. The
> Elephant, not sure who that is, but apparently he goes to Elephant
> SParks. Then she asks me, “momma do you know waht his name is?”. I came
> up with all the suitable Elephant names I could think of… Elmer,
> Sagggy Baggy, and Mr. grey. She says, ” no silly, it’s Fence Post
> Johnny!!”. Really? That’s his name? Huh. as we crossed our last street
> she shrieks in horror, “Sara lost a shoe!!” I knew this was going to
> happen by the way. One of the reason I hesitated to bring miss Sara. As
> I stopped to start heading back to Sparks, she stops me and in a
> begging kind of voice says ,” momma, will you pray?” We have a habit of
> praying for lost friends and toys. I wanted to weep right there. How
> sweet that her heart knew that God would answer her momma’s prayer.
> She didn’t think I would find it without Jesus’s help. I’m quite sure I
> agree with her. So we walked back not more than half way to find a
> lone shoe in the middle of the sidewalk. Praise God! As we walked
> home, holding hands and being so excited now to play dollies, I
> couldn’t help but think how great our God is. In the ramblings of the
> morning, and the silliness of Eden’s thoughts, God showed up for this
> sweet girl in a way most of us might think very trivial. I hope you all
> agree that this was a great way to start this thursday morning. Well,
> I’m off to put a very tired baby in his bed. Have a wonderful day
> ya’ll!

Does it ever make you wonder…

I just finished filling out a survery for my children. Apparently it’s for some research on Autistic and ADHD children, trying to find a “normal” based on the answers, blah,blah,blah. It was very interesting, and as I was doing this, I was thinking about my oldest child. Zion. The one who I would swear he was autistic, or had something going on in his early years. If anyone knows him now, they may still wonder, , however we know he is normal, as normal as any child can be coming from the parents he comes from. His dad for example, wears different colored socks, everyday. If there are only white socks, he turns one inside out. I thought to myself, if I had filled this out 2 or even 3 years ago, I would have been in a heap, sure there was something “wrong” with my child. Fretting, worrying, and wondering will he be a social outcast? Because isn’t that the basis of our worries as parents? Except death and all that morbid junk, doesn’t it boil down to ‘will they be liked’? Will they function well in school, make lots of friends, go on to become some great so and so? I was teased terribly as a child. Some from friends, but sadly mostly from family. As I thought about my sweet boy and wondered back then if he was indeed normal, or typical, I worried that he’d be teased if he wasn’t typical. Well, fast forward a couple of years and he is functioning just fine and dandy in the public school system, makes friends, and believe it or not does not get teased…. yet. You see, I say yet because I know this world is mean sometimes. As much as the schools try to teach about bullying and all that, some kids don’t care. I take it back, Zion did get teased this past year about scribbling instead of coloring in the lines. If any of you know my husband or me, you will know that we both wanted to kick that little punk in the pants. Scribbling indeed! What if they had said Picasso scribbled? So now I have finished my surveys, fully confident that for the moment two out of three of my children are typical, Canon is just one, and who knows. When I think back on those times, I am reminded of one thing that got me through, the one thing I kept being reminded of over and over. God is in control. I don’t mean the church-y “God is in control” answer. I mean I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, He is Creator and He created my children for a time, season and a purpose. I knew that no matter what issue they had, He knew about it before they were even born. I keep that eternal perspective in mind, knowing that perhaps whatever might go on with my children, He has a plan for that very thing. I still wonder every now and again, are they typical? Will they make friends easily? Will they be liked? Then I stop and ask myself, does it really matter? I mean, REALLY matter? Nope, it doesn’t. After the years of teasing and ribbing I endured, I can’t honestly look back and say,”I’d go through it all over again. I like who it made me become and I wouldn’t want to be anyone different”. I pray my sweet cherubs feel the same in 30 years.

Isn’t summer fun?

The summer days have proven to be anything but lazy! I don’t know if it’s living in Texas or just the way things are these days, but kids are going, going, going! We have had other kiddos in and out of our home for various reasons this summer. Playdates, babysitting, or just stopping by. On one such occasion we had a little friend over, who is a sweet pea! When he left I realized, wow, every family is different! The kids were all playing out back in our sprinkler, and apparently this little chap had to, you know, go. The kids come running, ” mom, mom!! Someone just peed in the yard!!” I lost my mind as only any self respecting woman would do if they heard this. Now mind you, I do not camp, I am an only child and I really think public bathrooms are disgusting. So you can imagine the horror I was feeling at the thought of someone else’s little person peeing in MY yard!!! “Everyone in the house!!”, I shouted. I usually don’t shout, except for extreme circumstances. This was extreme. Everyone came in wondering what would happen, wondering what would I do with this poor innocent little man. His fate was unknown, and judging by my reaction, I imagine it was something to fear. I asked him as sternly and calmly as I could muster, “why on earth would you pee in Miss Jen’s yard?” Before he could stammer out an answer I was on him again, ” we don’t pee in people’s yards, we pee in the bathroom, ONLY!!”. Poor kid. He was clearly confused. I politely asked him to try in my bathroom, and made it very clear this was unexceptable behavior. You would think he set fire to the house or something by my reaction. Anyway, after he walked away, his brother says, ” my dad let’s him do that all the time so he doesn’t pee in the pool.” Interesting. First of all, this sweet kid thinks he’s doing what he should, ok, I get that. Secondly, I did over-react, a bit. In my defense, who on this planet would rather their kid pee in the back yard than in the house. Families with boys I suppose. Families who are more laid back than yours truly. Oh to not be uptight! I have two boys myself, I just feel there is the appropriate time and place for things. I also feel that if a child does pee in the pool on accident, there are enough chemicals in there to kill anything that shouldn’t be there. Ah, well, lesson learned. When children come to play now, I very politley ask if there is anything they may do that I may find a wee bit unusual.